As Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around I am hopeful for a good time with friends and family, in fact I am truthfully desperate for it.
I was looking through my old post and realized that it has been a while not only since my last post, but definitely a very long while since the string of post prior to that. I read the one referring to New Years 2009. and was reminded of what I wanted to speak to here and now.
The year of 2009 for me was pretty dang good. But the year 2010 for me really sucked. I faced many challenges and it was trying on me mentally, physically, and spiritually. I feel like I was standing still for most of the year. I started the year with some great expectations. I graduated from Navarro College with my Associate degree in Secondary Education. I followed that up by trying to basically run away from the place that I had loved for my entire life. I was tired of the same old and was given a chance to go to New Mexico and work away from that "same old" everyday.
Don't get me wrong when I say that I had a good time there in New Mexico, but overall it was not what I needed or had truly hoped for.
Upon coming home I lost the job that I had and found a new one, but the money has been tight.
In doing all that I missed my brother's graduation and basically lost a great friendship.
For the most part the thing that has been so hard on me this year was losing, or "giving up", a love. I say giving up, because it is really my fault and there has been and probably is nothing I can do about it. Whoever said: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all" is a big frickin idiot. If you know what it is to think about forever with someone and then to have that gone for any reason knows what I am talking about. It has been so tough on me because I never wanted it to happen, even though I am the one who pretty much put a stop to it only to later realize I was being very foolish.
I hope that 2011 is a much better year. I am going to begin to complete my bachelors degree at Texas A&M Commerce through their partnership program with Navarro College. I feel as though this is a giant step in the right direction, but am still worried about the road ahead.
In conclusion, no matter what you think of what I have said, I am just saying I guess if you read this that I need prayer and am just very hopeful for a great Holiday season, not just for me, but for everyone. My family, friends, and just everyone in general.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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